STOMACH OF STEEL: 8 WEIRD THINGS MY DOG HAS EATEN

As regular readers of this blog know, Juno is a funny dog. She’s big and loud and rather destructive at times. If she has the opportunity to get into something, she takes it.

Most of the things I’ve witnessed her eat are normal for a dog. Grass. “People” food off counters and out of cupboards. Garbage. But there’s a growing list of things she’s eaten that either make me shake my head or worry for her safety. She’s (somehow) never gotten sick which is nothing short of a miracle. 

Here are 8 weird things she has eaten:

1. Goose turds – she pops them like tootsie rolls. Gross.

2. Wood – she’ll rip branches off trees, pull driftwood from the lake, or steal logs from the firewood pile and gnaw away at them for hours. I’m not sure how she doesn’t get splinters or what the appeal is but she seems to love it.

Juno and her prized driftwood collection

3. A pound of chocolate covered raisins – and, yes, chocolate and raisins are BOTH toxic to dogs. It didn’t seem to phase her.

4. 7 Remote controls (and one cellphone) – she more so destroys them than eats them but I’m sure she ingests at least something in the process. In the last 3 years, we’ve gone through 7 remotes and one iphone. It’s a problem.

The latest victim

5. Bees and wasps – it can’t possibly feel good to eat something that can sting you on the way down but she goes after them every chance she gets.

6. Doorknobs – Juno has managed to lock herself in our bathroom more times than I can count. She’s not smart enough to stay out of the damn bathroom but she is smart enough to know that the doorknob has something to do with opening the door. Apparently, her escape plan includes chewing the doorknob right off. We finally had to replace it because this was what was left of it:

7. Haskap berries – as if we don’t have enough trouble keeping the birds away from the plants but now we have to worry about Juno eating our berries too! I’ve caught her multiple times, slowly making her way down the row, grabbing a berry here and there as a nice mid-afternoon snack.

Juno in the Haskap

8. Granola bars – at first thought, granola bars may not seem like the weirdest thing a dog could eat. But in this case, it’s quite the story…

While home alone one day, Juno managed to get a cupboard door open and proceeded to pull out, rip apart, and eat everything she could get her paws on. Among the gigantic mess, we noticed that the family-sized box of chocolate covered granola bars (which was nearly full that morning) was now empty. We searched the house and backyard but could find no evidence.

Had she eaten them all?!

And where were the wrappers?!

A few days later, as I was cleaning up the yard, I started to notice hints of silver glistening from within the piles of poo. I further investigated to find that there were still fully intact and wrapped granola bars passing through her digestive system. Not long after that I started to find empty granola bar wrappers littered around the backyard.

Which means she:

Swallowed these granola bars whole.

SHAT them out.

Pulled them out of her own poo piles.

Opened them.

And then ate the granola bars.

Again, gross.

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